just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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