i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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