She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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