Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
