Sponge bath it is.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
