I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
