I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
