That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
