Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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