I accidentally had phone sex last night
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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