Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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