In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
