opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Girls should come with a carfax report
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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