I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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