How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
