Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
