Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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