I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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