all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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