No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
