I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
