I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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