speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
