Just fell off a train. Bad.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
