I cannot find my penis.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
send nudes
from the living room?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
