Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
