i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize