Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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