id be glad to
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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