I just made out with a guy for $7.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
