....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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