When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
