I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
