Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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