You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
