tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
