OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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