No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Four minutes until I can fart!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
