My nipple is on Facebook.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
