What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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