i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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