Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
