found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Couch. On fire.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
