He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
ok first of all what the fuck
Shame - the story of my life.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
