it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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