Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
