We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
