I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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