oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
