If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
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Pretty sure you can't make anything or anyone your bitch while wearing depends 😒
Listen bro, there is no level of partying that should require you to shit in a diaper. In a cornfield maybe, or on the side of the road because there is no way in hell you'd make it another 5 miles home to the toilet, but not in a diaper.
Learn to orchestrate your bodily functions.
Really, the Depends made you their bitch...