Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize