wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
