96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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