I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
