It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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