im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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