just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
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