Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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