So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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