remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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