It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
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there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
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Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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