I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
