Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
