Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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