i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
