dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
